I'm so excited to be a mother because I'll get to...

feel my baby's skin
see his eyes
snip their little finger nails
help him stop crying
hand him to Michael and watch him glow
hear him laugh
see him learn
take him on walks
show him, my greatest creation, to others
watch him with my loved ones
see my sister love my child after I've loved hers for 9 1/2 years
see our family grow
look at the temple and know we'll be together forever because of it
make mistakes and have to apologize and watch him forgive
see him apologize and want to forgive him right away
watch him break things and feel bad and let him know they're just "things"
but he's my son
watch him succeed at something and try to hide his excitement and pride
watch him fail and then try again or try something new
teach him about a loving Father in Heaven we all have
teach him about the Savior and why He is and always will be the center of our
lives
watch him watch his dad
watch him laugh at his dad's jokes
watch him smile at me when I'm sad
watch him learn for himself that the Gospel is true and Jesus is his personal Savior
see him struggle to know who he is
see him help others know who they are
see him run
see him play by himself
see him play with others
see him with my parents and finally understand how much they always loved me
see him with my nieces and nephews and know he'll always love and look up to them
change his diaper
clean up his high chair
speak baby language with him
fill up his sippy cup
pack a diaper bag
feel his first kiss on my cheek.

I can't wait to be a mother.

(to make it easier I referred to the baby as a "he" but we'll find out the gender in a month!)

Enjoy all these pictures that I thought related to this post!

A proud Mama : Rachael and Mary, Chelan 2010

Nana Can't Get Enough : Nana and Charlie, Idylwood Park Summer 2010

Take Mama's Hand : Melissa and Lily (and Nana), same location

A Papa Full of Love : Papa and Cash, Summer 2010

Proud Daddy : Mike and Cash, Summer 2010

Snuggle Time : Crystal and Charlie, Summer 2010

She Owns Us : Michael and neighbor Maeli, Fall 2010

A Baby's Skin : Mike and Cash, Winter 2010


That' s my Uncle Billy : Billy and Lily, 4th of July 2010

What's better than family? Nothing. (sorry you weren't here for this pic, Rach!)

Nature's Art!

Happiness like my mission

(This Post Was Written Dec. 29, 2010)

Yesterday I felt happier than I have in years. I was sitting outside eating some mac n' cheese looking at the mountains and listening to Carrie Underwood and all of the sudden I felt like I felt on my mission- content, peaceful, satisfied and also hungry to love and serve others. I knew I'd come to that feeling some day in my marriage, I just didn't know it would come so soon. I figured I'd reach that level of happiness when we were old and serving a mission together. But, it happened now. I'm in my 9th week of pregnancy, Michael has just 3 more semesters left at BYU and we live in an apartment a few blocks south of campus. I'm so grateful for that feeling... it's a gift from God. I think it was God's way of telling me that this journey of having a child will be a selfless, difficult, rewarding, heart-wrenching and heart-expanding journey... just like my mission was. I can't wait!

Me with a family that was baptized on my mission

M and I after our celebration dinner at Los Hermanos the
night we found out we were expecting

Going to bed the AM... the really AM

(This post was written January 1st, 2011)

2:42, Just finished my chicken noodle soup and pickles. Took my pre-natal vitamin. Know I will want to remember this night. Started work 4:15pm, 110 people fed a 5 course meal + wine orders and very happy. Insanity in the kitchen, I did my best and tried to help where I could. Us newbies got it pretty bad, but the oldies had to pick up our slack... they got it worse. Celebrated the New Year with co-workers while texting "Happy New Year!" and "I love you!" to Michael. My text from him read, "I love you too beautiful" (enough to melt the heart at midnight and dead on your feet!) Made a decent amount of money. Grateful for patient and understanding co-workers.

So, why was it such a hard night? I ate 1 roll and was able to make 1 bathroom visit (the only time I sat down) in 6 hours. It would have been easier I think had there not been an olive-sized human sucking up all the nutrients he/she could inside my belly... but oh how happy I am to have him/her there!

When I got home M was asleep and then delerious (Me: Hey hun, you asleep? M: Yeah, what are you doing? Me: I just got home. M: From where?) While we snuggled I did my "just got home and I'll tell you everything about my day in 2 minutes spiel" I told him how much I had to pray. There were times I thought I'd lose it while I brought out the ribs or when I couldn't "hold it" any longer but we were so busy I didn't dare ask to run outside, across the street, to our cozy bathroom. There were times I was so parched and dizzy but another order needed to be taken out.

When I think about it, tonight was one of those nights that God must let me have to say to me, "Look, you can do hard things...even when you're pregnant."

I'm not sure what will change if anything once I spill the glorious beans about my pregnancy with my boss and co-workers. But, I will always remember (because I'm writing this post!) that I did hard things on New Years Eve 2010/2011.

Beautiful Provo

Michael and I took a trip to the park. He played with his helicopter and
I took pictures and read a little.

Pink Mountain

This must be where I got my inspiration to draw pink mountains displayed in an earlier post.

Project Goals

Do you ever have so many projects you want to do that you end up not doing any of them out of fear of not being able to finish them? That's what's going on with me. I think I might be starting to feel a little better now, so hopefully I can get started (finished) on some of these projects. I think what will be key is prioritizing what needs to be done first and then scheduling little bits of time almost daily so I can slowly but surely accomplish each project.

Here are the projects:

1. Mom's Birthday Present - ideas but undecided
2. Dad's Birthday Present - decided and unfinished
3. Window Collage - have 100's of pictures from Spain and Portugal,
now I'm trying to figure out how to put them together
4. Finish Painting Walls - Michael still has not bugged me about
the wall with two big splotches of possible paint options on it
5. Make decorations for V-day - I have a big white frame I want to fill
with pink words and hearts
6. Plan B-day Party - I should probably get on this, my B-day is weeks away!
7. Paint Coffee Table - I'm thinking a cool blue or coral red would be cool...
8. Wipe fake snow off windows - Last Christmas decoration to
come down, or, off
9. Print Hancock Fam Pic - Having troubles making the picture into an 8x10
10. Write Grandparents about expecting baby - I want them to feel a part of our first baby and not find out I'm pregnant from facebook... please!
11. Make health plan for rest of pregnancy/post-baby - I can already tell this will be important
12. Finish Graduation Essay - Started this almost 1 year ago, could finish in a matter of hours