Friday, January 20, 2012

One reason being a mom is totally worth it.

I just finished reading this article and felt like writing about last night.

Sarah woke up crying every hour and a half with painful gas after putting her down for the night. I decided to sleep in her room (there's a bed in there, too) because I was tired of going up and down the stairs and frankly worried I was going to fall down them because I was so exhausted. After I fell asleep in her room, she started waking up 20-30 minutes after I put her down.

After that I decided she'd sleep with me. Because I can nurse her while lying down, and nursing helps her stay calm, I actually got a couple hours of sleep in a row.

This morning I thought she might need a blessing and asked my husband what he thought. By the time I asked him Sarah was cooing and happy. I then realized it was me that needed a blessing. He lay his hands on my head and gave me a Priesthood blessing of comfort and counsel. I was reminded to pray for help in caring for Sarah and blessed that I'd be able to recognize the answers to those prayers. I was blessed that I could rest sometime that day to make up for the night before. I was reminded how much Heavenly Father, Sarah and Michael love me.

After taking Michael to school, Sarah went down for her morning nap which she miraculously took very well! That meant I had a great 2-hour nap myself. Thank goodness! (Actually, thank God, literally.)

Although last night was difficult it did have its "kairos" moments. That's what Glennon Melton calls the times of your day that are heavenly- when time stands still. I'd say I had a couple of those. Like, in the middle of all her crying I sat her on the bed, me at the side of the bed on my knees helping her sit up, and she started to smile and coo.

Or when I was laboriously walking and rocking her writhing body and slowly her cries got softer until she was completely asleep on my shoulder- her arms and legs hanging like tired branches off a tree. I looked in the mirror at her sweet and exhausted face and experienced kairos.

I love that girl. I can't wait for another kid (we're not pregnant). Melton is so right on, it's hard being a parent, being a mother, but oh do those moments of sheer joy looking at your baby learn, experience something new, gain sustenance from your bosom as they nurse or just stare into your eyes make it way more than worth it. Does she know what she does to me when she looks me in the eyes like that?