Wednesday, July 25, 2012


Yesterday was hard again, but better.  I am already seeing results.  I slept better last night and woke up feeling really good.  I handled Sarah's crying and messed up sleeping schedule way better than ever.  I spoke Spanish really well with the missionaries- probably not related to my eating but what the heck.  I feel more calm and confident knowing I'm doing something very hard and have kept my commitments almost perfectly.  WE ARE SAVING MONEY- those snack foods I was used to are expensive! I'm getting SO MUCH MORE DONE.  I ran 2 errands yesterday that I'd been want to run for weeks.  I'm writing again, which I've been wanting to do more of for months.  Life is just better.  I'm so glad!

It's been so nice to have the support of family and (Facebook) friends through the Commit To Be Fit! Beachbody Team.  When I want to complain I can go there and vent and there's a good chance that someone else has been through the same thing.  I have a member of my family calling me every day of the week to ask me how I am keeping my commitment to the P90X portion plan to help me remain accountable and have something to look forward to.  That's helping a lot and makes me love and appreciate my family even more.

I am only 3 days into this and have learned so much.  Here's to the next *28 days!

*I am doing a month-long portion plan as a goal to accomplish before a big family vacation the end of August.  Ideally I'd do the whole 90 days but I have a fear of too much commitment to something I think will be too hard so I've committed to 31 days and we'll see what I can commit to after that!

Photo taken in 2010 by H and B PHOTOGRAPHY

Monday, July 23, 2012

the wall

I'm hitting the wall right now and trying not to keep banging my head into it.  I feel hungry but not really.  I feel tired but not really.  I feel frustrated and limited.  I want to eat those chips but not really.  I want this to be easier.  I want it to be August 22nd.

I started the P90X portion plan today and it's not easy- of course it's not!  It's a big change (well, big enough for it to be difficult) from the norm for me.  I'm home a lot and often snack.  I snack when I'm hungry, when I'm bored, when I'm frustrated.  Now, if I want to keep my commitment to myself, I can't do that.  I have to fill the time with something else.  I was just laying on the floor doing some deep breathing to pass the time and that helped a little. 

Today went really well before I hit the wall.  And it's still going well as far as my sticking to the plan but it's just not so easy at the moment.  I bet in a half hour or so it won't be so bad.

It must be kind of like quitting any other bad habit.  You make a plan, are full of motivation and excitement, start the journey, do well at first and then reality sets in and you realize how hard it's gonna be.  But I knew it was going to be hard, this is a CHANGE... and CHANGE IS HARD!

But I can do hard things- I've done many of them- and this one will really pay off for me and for those I love most.  I'll feel better, I'll look a little better, I'll be more confident, I'll feel less guilt, I'll have more energy, I'll have better habits to teach my kids, I'll gain more respect from people close to me, I'll be able to play more and better with Sarah, I'll be more excited to play sports with Michael, I'll feel better about my future, I'll feel better when I'm pregnant again someday, I'll have an even better experience delivering my baby, I'll have more time to do important things, I'll be a better visiting teacher, I'll be a better cook, I'll be a better friend.  I'm sure there is more, too.

Anyways... this was one of my outlets I planned to turn to when it got hard and it's still hard.... my tummy is grumbling and Michael is snacking on yummy food.

I'll figure this out, my body will adjust, and it won't be so hard tomorrow, hopefully.