Here it is again

Yep, just when everything is going perfectly... BAM! I'm sad again. Wah wah. I know, you might not want to hear my complaints, but, maybe it'll help me get over these feelings quicker... I don't know.

I don't know- those words are often repeated when I am depressed. Very interesting. Hmmm. Depression is a trial and we thank God in our trials (or we'd be better off if we did!). So, thanks! Thank you for these horribly confusing, heart-wrenching and mind-blowing feelings and thoughts.

So sad I can't go hide in a cupboard for the time it takes for me to not be depressed. Why do I think that? Because right now almost nobody can make me happy- not even myself! Michael's sweetness goes under-appreciated (isn't that spelled peculiarly?) and everyone's jokes go un-laughed-at. All I can think is "I'm sad and you're not helping."

YUCK! What a selfish way to think, huh? Well, at least I know it's not my normal thinking and I can try to change those thoughts and look forward to the day my automatic positive/loving/happy thoughts come back.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

But, when you think about it, that's what others who are battling other more apparent more life-threatening situations are told, they're told to wait.

What am I waiting (patiently) for?

When smiling comes easily.

When laughter is second-nature.

When I don't fear seeing people I know because they'll see how stupid/lazy/messed-up I am.

When I don't think about myself and my own thoughts way too much.

When cooking sounds fun again.

When working doesn't seem impossible and unbearable.

When crawling into my bed and passing the hours asleep doesn't sound like the best option.

When everything everyone does doesn't annoy me.

Here's a favor I ask of you, pray. Pray for me to get over this and especially for my husband to always remember the better me when I'm down like this.

Here are some "good things..."

Good thing marriage is eternal if we want it to be.

Good thing my worth does not depend on how I'm feeling right now.

Good thing my family loves me no matter what.

Good thing I know I'll get over this like I have maybe a hundred times before.

Good thing not everyone is like this (and at the same time!) or we could have some major global problems!

Good thing the Gospel of Jesus Christ remains true/perfect/eternal/there for all of us all the time.

Good thing God exists and knows the purpose of our bummer times.

Good thing God made me who I am....even though I'm crazy sometimes, I'm happy with who I am.

Good thing God and Jesus Christ love all of us - no matter how we feel about ourselves.

Good thing the struggles we go through in this life will be all worth it in the end.

Good thing there are Temples to feel God's love in and participate in the most holy work there is.

Good thing I have friends that love me and stand by me.

Good thing not many people read this blog.

Haha.