Right now I'm a stay-at-home mom.
Can I compare my job to my husbands?
Right now he is a pilot trainee for the Air Force.
Can he compare his job to mine?
Is something important because it's hard to do or is it hard to do because it's important? Or can it be easy even though it's important, even the most important.
Does a regulated schedule make something more difficult?
Does regular grading make a job more stressful?
Could I say I am graded regularly because I judge myself and my performance constantly and expect better every day?
Couldn't we both just respect each others' jobs and be satisfied?
How do we show respect for each others' responsibilities?
When I make breakfast, lunch and dinner sometimes in one day for my hubs, help him find numerous possessions he has temporarily lost, clean the dishes he dirtied, clean the toilet we both use, and do everything I can to raise the daughter we both had a hand in bringing to the world... I feel like I'm supporting him.
But how can he support me?
When he's so busy working, preparing, studying, fixing.
What do I, what can I, expect of him?
This is a mystery and a balancing act of expectations and understanding I hope to crack and conquer soon...
Before I go crazy.
Note: my husband is kind, considerate and respectful... we're just normal and this post is about working some kinks out that I want to work out.
"I love being a wife, I love being a wife, I love being a wife" is what I tell myself repeatedly. Sure beats the first 25 years of my life without him and being in and out or relationships---not to sound "better than" all those single ladies, but I've been there, and being a wife is so much better than the heartache. Now being a mom, I cannot speak to, but I can speak to being a pet parent, and I totally don't mind picking up their poop and training them in exchange for all their love (I am fully aware the two don't really compare, but hey, it's really all I have right now). :) Love you! You're an awesome wife and mother.
ReplyDeleteYes, Jen, you're very right. There are a lot of blessings that I overlook when I focus on the parts of my life that may need fixing. Thanks for your response. I am finding that writing down in my phone or journal little miracles, sweet things that happened that day helps me to see how good I have it. Love you too :)
DeleteI wish I had all the answers as I too wonder this at times. We went to a marriage retreat and while there I discovered some things about myself that speak to my frustration and sometimes dissatisfaction with the most important job of motherhood. I am a check the box kind of person, finish a task and move on, but being a homemaker the tasks are NEVER done. There is always laundry to be done or food to be made, so they recommended I find ways to measure my tasks for the day. The other hard part is there is no 'clock out' time so burn out is very real. So one thing that seemed helpful is just asking for an hour or so every day that you are 'clocked out' and let your hubby clock in as Mr. Mom and housekeeper extraordinaire. There will be times that isn't going to happen but at least something is better than nothing :-)
ReplyDeleteLove your suggestions, I think they could both help me, thank you!
DeleteThis is something we are always evaluating and adjusting in our marriage. We always try to have our personal time "equal." I have a girls night out, he goes golfing, etc... But I also don't like it to be/ sound like a competition because men and women's needs are different.
ReplyDeleteThank, Becky, It's nice to hear from others that experience the same issue and know we can all work through it!
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